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Luke: "Did you know fish are made of air and we are made of water?"

Where did he get this?!
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Luke: "I've decided what I want for my birthday. An autograph from KISS."

(Yeah, he's been playing too much Guitar Hero! Oh, and his birthday isn't until March. Hahaha!)

Later, "Mommy? You know we can see KISS in concert, right?"
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When Luke was younger (like last year . . . ), he had no concept of time. When he wanted to say forever, he would always say "until it gets to domingo."  (domingo = Sunday in Spanish)
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Teo: "Look at that car! It looks like a limo gone wrong."

He says this to me as I'm struggling to pack the van and do a million things at once. When I finally was able to turn and look, I nearly died laughing when I saw it was a station  wagon from the 1970s. Sigh . . .
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While hiking deep in the wet, forested national forests in the western North Carolina mountains, Luke stops and says suddenly:

"Smells like church!"

We've always said Luke has a mighty nose . . . his power sniffer!  I do too, so he gets it from me.   I took a whiff, and sure enough there was a slight "incense" smell . . . not sure what it could be but moss and pine! 
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Luke: "It's hard being young! Daddy doesn't remember what it's like to be young because he's 47. Well, I know he's not 47, but because Barack Obama is 47 I think of Daddy as 47 because it's easier and they're both in their 40s."<< MORE >>

Spending lots of quality time with my husband and sons these past few days has taught me that I clearly haven't seen enough Sponge Bob episodes to fully understand them. << MORE >>

Luke, halfway through our horseback riding in the mountains: "This is the best hour of my life!" << MORE >>

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Luke, after getting what he wanted: "You're the nicest mom I've ever had. . . . I mean have. um . . . or whatever!" << MORE >>

Luke, from the tub with his hair all spiked up from suds: "Look at me, Mommy! I'm the guy from Revenge of the Nerds!" !ŕĈ竸Ə覨ƏƑ << MORE >>

Luke: "Mommy, does claustrophobic mean you're afraid of Santa Claus?"
Mateo: "No, silly, it meansyou're afraid of clowns!"
Me: "Where'd you guys hear that word?"
Both: "SPONGE BOB!"

Squidward: Would you not stand so close. I'm getting claustrophobic....
Patrick: What does claustrophobic mean?
Sponge Bob: It means he's afraid of Santa Claus!
Squidward: No it doesn't!
Patrick: HO HO HO!
Sponge Bob: Stop it Patrick you're scaring him!
Patrick: HO HO HO! << MORE >>

At dinner - Luke: "A house divided will never stand." Me: "Wow, where'd you learn that, Schoolhouse Rock?" Luke: "No, Abraham Lincoln." Seriously. Then Teo starts in on the whole north vs. south thingy . . . and my husband starts in on the whole "well if you two would get along better, this house wouldn't fall down . . . " and I tuned them all out about then. << MORE >>

Luke, three days after he had given up his "nigh nigh" (a blankie he has denied having for years):  "Mommy, sometimes it makes me wanna cry when I think how grown up I am."

YOU???????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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All the kids do is ARGUE! Tonight it was "I get to scrub the sink!" "No, I do!" to which I replied, "You can each wash one side . . ." Within seconds it was "I get the left side." "No, I do!" Hehehe - not gonna complain too much about that! << MORE >>

Luke: "Tonight was a miracle night. I read five chapters and I lost five pounds."

(apparently he had weighed himself earlier while leaning against the wall . . . )
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Luke: "Mommy? Will you google how whales sleep?"  What's really weird is he came up with this thought while watching Harry Potter Goblet of Fire. Did I miss something about a whale in that one?

Since when did kids stop asking "Mommy, why . . . ?" and start asking "Mommy, will you google . . .?"

How did I ever learn anything from my parents if they couldn't look it up with google?  I'm equally fascinated and frightened by the information available out there.

And, FYI, here's what I found about whales and their sleeping habits:


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I love it when students learn from their mistakes and make my job easier when I grade!!! Yay!!!!

One thing I recommend to students who are serious about learning Spanish is to keep a journal with mistakes that you make. When you get a paper back, write both the bad sentence and its correction on a list and review it often to aviod repeating that mistake. You will find that you eventually do stop making that mistake, and reviewing it often will also show you how far you've come!
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Teo: "I know who Michael Jackson was! He was the guy who won all those Olympic gold medals for swimming!!!"

Later, after watching way too much news coverage on Michael Jackson, Luke hears one reporter comparing the hoopla to Elvis' death, and he shouts:

"Elvis died too???????? How is that possible??!!!"

After I recovered, I realized he was serious. He was pretty heartbroken to hear that Elvis had died, even if it was 30+ years ago . .

And no, Teo, Michael Phelps did NOT sing "Billie Jean's not my lover." . << MORE >>

Luke: "Mommy? Will you google how many numbers are in google?" Turns out that "googol" is the number 1 followed by 100 zeros. Who knew?!
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Luke just asked me to google "Does the song that never ends really never end?," so of course I did.

Here's what I found. Make sure you go to the very last page. Ahem.

The Complete Lyrics to The Song That Never EndsThis is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was, and they'll continue ...singing it forever just because...This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friend.

We can blame our good friend Maureen. Don't ever let her teach your kids this song! On the other hand, however, if you need someone to teach them how to ride a bike, she's the one! << MORE >>

In CCD (Sunday School) this morning, Luke's class brought in flowers to make a crown of flowers to put on the statue of the Virgin Mary in the front lawn of the church.

As they were all gathered around the statue ready to place the flowers on her head, Luke's teacher asked if anyone wanted to say something. Luke raised his hand. When she called on him, he pointed at the statue and said "There are ants climbing up Mary's leg!"
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This morning Luke went out to get the newspaper, and when it seemed too much time had passed, Mike went to check on him. Just as he did so, Luke came in the door with the newspaper in a huge mess, piled up in his arms (the Sunday one with all the ads, so you know what I mean!). He looked up at Mike and sweetly said:

"The newspaper fell three times, Daddy. Just like Jesus!"

When Mike told Father Tim, he replied:  "Way to tie the gospel in to life, Luke!"
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So Luke realized for the first time the other day that I've written and published a book. He saw my contract for my upcoming book on the table, and he read where it said my name followed by "Furthermore referred to as the Author."  He got all excited and demanded I show him my book. When I did, he said "Oh wow!  You wrote every single word in it? REALLY?!"

Then he carefully looked at the illustration on the front cover and asked me:  "Mommy, were you the AUTHOR *and* the ILLUSTRATOR?"

Hahahahaha!

Then, after thinking a bit more about it, he began to describe the book HE was planning to write when HE grows up.

He told me every detail, and he listed all his favorite people and said each one would have a special chapter about him or her:

"Mommy, I will have a chapter on Daddy, Teo, You, Grandma, Grandpa, Grammy, Poppy, Uncle K, Aunt V., Aunt H., etc. etc. . . . "

It was sooooo adorable!!!
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Luke:  "Look, Mama!  Rafa is bathing himself!"
Me:  "No, honey, cats bathe themselves. Dogs just lick everywhere. . ."
Luke:  "Really?  Then how do dogs get clean?"
Me:  "Well, their owners wash them!"
Luke:  "Dogs are ROYALTY! We pick up their poop AND bathe them! I wish I was a dog!"
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Teo:  Admiring the size of the coffee pot on the edge of the table at iHop:  "Wow, that's a lot of syrup. That's like the MOTHERLOAD!" << MORE >>

My 7 year-old to my 8 year-old: "Did you know Andrew was born in 1999! That's like the nineteen hundreds!!!" << MORE >>

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These chips are CHILLIN'. They're CHILL chips.
~said by Luke as he explains his method of letting his chips sit in the salsa until they're nice and soggy.
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Luke:  "If my brain were empty, would I sound like this?  DOY!!!!!!!!!!!"
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Setting:  I've just told the boys that I have a headache and they better behave.

Luke:  "Mommy, when I was up in heaven waiting to be borned, I asked for you. I wanted a mommy just as pretty and as nice as you, and I got you!!"

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Me:  "I'm OLD!"
Luke:  "No you're not! You're like a TEENAGER!"
Teo:  "Yeah! Because you're so pretty and cuddle-able!"




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This morning when the boys were getting ready for school, the sun was barely visible through the dense fog.
Luke looked outside and exclaimed "Mommy, It's BALD outside!" 

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This is an old one from when Luke was a toddler. Whenever he would get mad for whatever reason he would get all snotty and shout "Muuuuuuah! I KISS IT!" and give us the evil glare. If we slapped his hand, MUUUUUAH, I kiss it!  It was really hard not to laugh because he was always so serious when he said it!
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Tonight while eating some really big grapes Luke picked one up and said to me:  "Mama? This one's an ant's skyscraper!"

A few minutes later, he picked up an even bigger one and said "This one's a ladybug's skyscraper! See!"
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Me (to Luke):  "You're getting on my last nerve!!!!"

Luke:  "How many nerds do you have, Mama?"
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Luke:  "I love you, Mama!"
Me:  "I love you too, honey!"
Luke: "I love you MORE!"
Me:  "No you don't."
Luke:  "Yes, I do!"
Me:  "I don't think so, Luke."
Luke:  "You borned me, so I SHOULD love you more!"

Then a few minutes later . . .

Luke: "Did that even make sense, Mama?"
Me: "Yes, I understand you, sweetie."
Luke: "But Mama? Is it right? You borned me?"
Me: "No, honey, but that's ok."
Luke: "But how do you say it?"
Me: "gave birth, honey."
Luke: "You gave me BIRTH????"



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The other day while out and about, we decided to stop in the brand new T.J. Maxx to look for some shoes for the boys.  We didn't know they don't sell children's shoes.

As we're walking in, the boys beg me not to take too long, not to shop for clothes or anything like that.  So, of course I head straight towards the clothes, and teasing them I say "Oooooo . . . look at this pretty sweater!!"  They both yanked me away saying "Nooooo, Mommy! No shopping!"  After a few more times Luke shouted "MOMMY!  You're getting ATTRACTIVE!! Stop looking at the clothes!"  (attracted to the clothes . . . get it???)

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Luke likes to talk to Landon on the phone all the time now.  The other day I found him playing the piano with the phone next to him on the bench.  Apparently Landon wanted to hear him play!  Then later, I heard Luke reading aloud . . . I walked in to check in on him, and he was reading to Landon on the phone.  Too cute!!!!
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I went to lunch with Luke today.  He loved every minute of it, but WOW - the noise really got to me.  I only have so much tolerance for that kind of noise.  And the little girl in front of me kept fake-gagging, which everyone else thought was hilarious, so the whole table started to do it . . .eeeewwww.  When she spit up a half-chewed grape, I actually felt kind of bad - perhaps she was really gagging? 

As we were leaving the lunch room, there was a line of other 1st graders waiting to go in.  One of them said to Luke: "Is dat yo mama???"  Luke nodded happily and the other kid looked me up and down and replied "Daaaaaaay-mn!!!"  SIX YEARS OLD! ACK!
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We bought two parakeets this summer, and it took us a few weeks to come up with names for them.  One day while on the phone with Mike I suggested "Lemon" and "Lime" because one is yellow and the other one is green.  Mike acted all shocked and repeated loudly "WOMEN AND WINE?????"  Who needs to get his ears cleaned out?

This reminds me of the time when he and I had just started dating and I was listening to an album by a Spanish artist named Manolo Tena.  One of the songs was called "Sal y limón."  I could not figure out why he would name it that.  One night I asked Mike:  "Why is it called *leave* and lemon?"  Idiot that I am forgot that "sal" means "leave" or "salt."  I'm thinking "salt" makes a LOT more sense!
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"Do unto others as you would have others do unto you."

Do you follow the golden rule?  For as long as I can remember, I have always known that treating others with kindness is very rewarding, no matter how I was treated in return.  Because I am an only child, I did not struggle with that natural competition and rivalry that develops among siblings.  I've witnessed it in others, and I did experience plenty of rivalry in the many years I was a student.  The other day I had a talk with the boys because their constant bickering and arguing had finally gotten on my last nerve, so I sat them down and said very seriously to them:

"I fully understand that siblings fight with each other, it's natural and part of growing up."

Luke raises his hand to interrupt me (as he likes to do, pretending we're in school), and says:

"But Mama, how would YOU know?! You don't have any brothers or sisters!"

My quick-witted response was:

"I grew up on a farm and witnessed plenty of kittens and pigs fighting with each other!"

That shut him up rather quickly. :)

Think about it, though, for a moment.  Do you always treat others as you wish to be treated yourself?  When  someone is  rude or hateful to you, how do you react?  Do you try to follow the Golden Rule?  As simplistic as it may sound, I contend that if more of us were to make a consistent effort to treat others how we wish to be treated in return, there would be less strife and conflict, and there would be more room for understanding and acceptance.  I challenge you to make a difference by consciously choosing to follow the Golden Rule. 
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"Happy University!" Luke shouts at us this morning! :)

Ten years ago we married at Christ the King Cathedral in Lexington, KY. 



Here we are today at The Cotton Exchange in Savannah:
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On our 10th anniversary, after we dropped the kids off at Grandma's and Grandpa's house, my cell phone began to ring before we got out of the neighborhood.  It was Grandpa calling to tell on Teo.  Apparently as soon as we got out of sight he shouted:  "They're GONE! Let's get this party STARTED!"


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I've been making a lot of Gazpacho lately, and the other day I overhear Luke say to Teo:  "Did you hear that, Teo?  She's drinking DISGUSTO!"

Too much Harry Potter maybe? << MORE >>

Today during Mass the priest asked us to remember our fathers and other men who have had profound impacts on our lives.  Luke tugged on my dress and whispered to me:

"Mommy?  Jesus is like a father to me! We should wish him a Happy Father's Day too!"

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Mike taught the boys to say "You're beautiful" to me every time I get mad.

Dammit, it works!!! << MORE >>

Chances are, if you're not Catholic, you may not fully understand what the "Permanent Diaconate" truly is.  Many Catholics are also unaware of its significance as well.  I come from both worlds since I am a Catholic convert.  In the protestant world I knew growing up, a deacon was simply a man who was asked to help collect the offering, usher people to their seats, count attendance, etc.  All it really took to be a deacon was to attend regularly!  So what is the big deal in the Catholic Faith?  Allow me to tell you!

My husband and 21 other men were ORDAINED permanent deacons on Saturday, May 31, 2008 at 10:00am at the Cathedral of St. John the Baptist in the Diocese of Savannah by Bishop J. Kevin Boland. 

 

The experience was amazing, especially since these men and their wives have been meeting on a monthly basis for FIVE years to prepare for this day.  The bonds that we have created, the lessons we have learned, the experiences we have shared, and the brand new family we now have, all have enabled us to grow closer to God and more fully understand his purpose in our lives.  These 22 men weren’t simply studying texts, both new and old, in addition, they were required to do deep spiritual studies of themselves, pushing them each to delve deep and seek God’s True Calling.  Yes, these men are not simply men who just signed their name on a list.  No, they were recommended by their parish priest, after which the candidate had to undergo a vigorous psychological examination and the wife had to be interviewed at length.  After being interviewed, only then did the candidate receive a letter from the Bishop asking him to join the program (or not to join, if that were the case).  The entire first year of studies was dedicated to listening carefully to and understanding God's calling.  The men had to discern that this is what God truly wanted.  There was a lot of deep soul-searching that first year.

 

Mike and I began this journey in September of 2003 while our babies were still in diapers! Most men who do this are typically nearing retirement and have adult children.  Mike and I are the youngest couple.  All the men who have gone through this five-year program have earned an MA Degree in Pastoral Studies through St. Leo University (Tampa, FL).  

Why is it called Permanent?  Because these men will remain deacons for the rest of their lives.  The other type of Deacon is a Transitional Deacon, an unmarried man who is in this "transitional" stage between layman and priest.  Typically, men who are studying to become priests are ordained transitional deacons after their third year of studies at the theological seminary.

The ordination on Saturday was awe-inspiring.  If you can only begin to imagine 22 men lying prostrate on the cathedral’s marble floor down the center aisle, you can see how amazing this event was!

 

 

Father Tim and I dress Mike in his new Dalmatic and Stole.





Immediately following the ordination:


While many of these men are joining other deacons already present in their parish, Mike is the first Deacon ever for our church.  If you are curious about the details, read on!

Here is some more information about the Permanent Diaconate I have swiped from other sources online:

 

http://www.bostondiaconate.org/inquiry.html
The Order of Deacons was instituted by the Apostles. It was restored as a permanent and public ministry in the Roman Church as a result of a decision made by the bishops at the Second Vatican Council. The restoration of the permanent diaconate was authorized in the United States in 1968.

 

The aims of the diaconate are to enrich and strengthen the works of service being performed by the Church, to enlist a new group of devout and competent married and single men in the active ministry of the Church, and to aid in extending needed charitable and liturgical service to the faithful. Wives of deacons assist in many of these areas.

The number of deacons in the United States has continued to grow steadily. There are more than 10,000 permanent deacons ministering in better than 140 (arch)dioceses in the United States.

 

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So WHAT is a deacon?

http://www.deacons.net/Articles/Who_is_a_Deacon.htm
A deacon is a clergyman who assists the bishop and priests.  He is ordained, not to the priesthood but to service.  He has a three-fold role of service:

1. Charity in which he is of service to the community.
2. Word in which he proclaims the Gospel and preaches.
3. Liturgy in which he assists at Mass, is an ordinary minister of the Eucharist and baptism, witnesses marriages, leads the community in prayer, especially funeral services and the Liturgy of the Hours.

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http://dioceseofbrooklyn.org/ministries/diaconate/what_is/index.html

While priests and bishops are familiar to Catholics, deacons are somewhat less well-known.  Men who plan to become priests are deacons for about a year before they are ordained a priest, but some deacons are set apart for a lifelong ministry and are not ordained priests, instead, they form the Permanent Diaconate.

Diakonia is a Greek word which means "service." A deacon serves the Church in the name of Jesus Christ as an ordained minister. He preaches, baptizes, and witnesses marriages.  A deacon may have a special ministry in administration or service to the poor.  His duties vary, but what is essential is his dedication and service to the Church.

During the rite of ordination for deacons, the ordaining Bishop says these words: "Receive the Gospel of Christ, whose herald you now are. Believe what you read, teach what you believe, and practice what you teach."

A deacon is dedicated to Christ in his Church, especially to the preaching of the Gospel in word and deed.

 

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http://www.vermontparishes.org/diaconate/

Through Holy Orders, the deacon acquires a special relationship to the bishop. Though surely "his own man" - by reason of his place in the hierarchy - tradition refers to him as "the bishop's man ... the bishop's ears and eyes." His ministry of charity, word, and sacrament enables the Church to be a credible sign of the Servant Christ in the world.

The ministry of a deacon is similar to but different from that of a priest of bishop. A deacon is ordained and missioned by Christ through the bishop to minister to the needy and the poor and to be a minister of Word and Sacrament, working in obedience to his bishop and in close fraternal cooperation with priests. While all Christians are called to serve others, the deacon is an official sign of this service and he solemnly promises to be a living example of such service for others.

 

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http://www.deacons.net/Articles/Who_is_a_Deacon.htm

The deacon finds his identity not in what he does, but in who he is. Deacons minister in many different settings from the traditional parish to prisons, hospitals, convalescent homes, juvenile detention centres, shelters for the homeless or the abused, soup kitchens, police departments, and corporations.  Regardless of where a deacon finds himself, it is there that he serves.

Deacons are the eyes, ears, hands, arms and feet of the bishop.  Ordained by the bishop, they serve as the bishop directs.  Usually this is in a parish setting, but it could be anywhere the bishop feels a need.  Having received the same sacrament of Holy Orders that a priest or bishop receives, the deacon works in harmony with the priests and the bishop to build up the Kingdom of God.

And, of course, we must not forget our Liturgical role.  This role is not the primary focus of our lives as deacons, but is secondary.  It is important that the community see us ministering from the altar vested as a deacon, but this liturgical role flows out of and is a result of our other roles of charity and service to the community.

 

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http://www.bostondiaconate.org/inquiry.html \
WHAT THE DEACON DOES (an example in Boston)

A permanent deacon exercising diaconal ministry in the Archdiocese of Boston and in good standing:

• May solemnly baptize and enter the data in the Register,
• May act as deacon at the Eucharistic Liturgy in accord with the prescriptions of the law,
• May preach everywhere in virtue of Canon 764, unless it has been restricted or taken away by the competent ordinary. This faculty is to be exercised with at least the presumed consent of the rector of the church. Preaching to religious in their churches or oratories requires the permission of the competent superior (C.765),
• May distribute Holy Communion and bring Holy Communion to the sick. If no priest is available, he may bring Viaticum to the sick who are dying,
• May be the minister of exposition and benediction of the Most Blessed Sacrament,
• May impart those blessings which are expressly permitted to him by law,
• May officiate at marriages with delegation from the pastor of the parish where the marriage is to be celebrated,
• May lead prayers at a wake and officiate at burial services at a cemetery, unless any one of these is restricted.  

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Major Findings http://cara.georgetown.edu/pubs/Working%20Paper%206-Deacons.pdf

• More than two-thirds of deacons are between the ages of 55 and 74, nearly all deacons – more than nine in ten – are married, and more than eight in ten are non-Hispanic White.
• The average age at ordination for deacons who were ordained between 1970 and 1979 is 46. By comparison the average age at ordination for those ordained between 1980 and 1989 is 49 and 53 for those ordained between 1990 and 2000.
• Deacons of the Vatican II/Post-Vatican II Generations are more likely than Pre-Vatican II Generation deacons to have attended a graduate or professional school program after college.

 

 

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So here's the background.  We have a computer set up for the boys in our main living area so that we can monitor it carefully.  Yesterday we found out Teo had discovered youtube, so we've been trying out some new parental control software and being extra vigilant.

Today, Mike and I walked by and saw he was playing some sort of Celebrity Death Match with Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton, and so we asked him "Do you even know who they are?"

Teo shrugs and says "I dunno their names, but I know they're famous and from CANADA.  I know that because it said so on TV!"

*pause*

Get it?  "Candidate"????????

Hang on.  It gets better.

When Luke saw Mike and me laughing, he came running and was trying to figure out what was so funny.  We asked him if he knew who the two "famous Canadians" were, and he looked carefully and said:

(are you ready?)

"OH!!!  I know!!!!!!!!  They're not from Canada!  That's Martin Luther King and Mrs. Claus!!!!"

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Mateo:  "I didn't know they had lifeguards here!"

Said at the private community pool in our neighborhood after a teenager in a red swimsuit showed up. << MORE >>

While building the bookcase, Teo and Luke wanted to help so badly, so I finally got Teo to help with tightening the screws.  Luke whines, and if you don't know my Luke, that's a common occurrence, but this time it was the-end-of-the-world kind of whine as he made it perfectly clear in his most victimized whiney voice ever:

"I wanna SCREW!  I've never screwed before!"

Yes, that's how he chose to fight this battle, but given the fact that 92% of me is still a hormonal juvenile who would find it next to IMPOSSIBLE to ignore such powerful words without busting out in nanny-goat knee-slapping hysteria, I had to turn and stiffle a giggle before addressing the situation.

How did I manage to get out of it? Being the good mom I am, I grinned and handed him the screwdriver so he could have his first screw and never again have to say "I've never screwed before!"

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Luke plays "Stomp Dance."

Notice the mighty use of the TONGUE.


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Teo plays Eight-O-Four by Dennis Alexander.
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This week I got to visit Lory and fam in Charleston because she was visiting from Seattle.  I was so excited to be able to drive a few hundred miles vs. a few thousand!  We met at Middleton Place Plantation:



Heather B. and mom went with me and the boys, so half of these pictures I should credit to Heather.  Of course I won't tell you which half, but they're probably the better ones.  She's the animal freak, so you figure it out!

Anyway, enjoy the pics!

Middleton Place Plantation Pictures

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Playing charades with Heather B., the boys get a card that says "2 people" so they both act it out, and all they do is curl up and lay on the floor, right next to each other.  Mateo put his hands over his head in a little "v" formation, but Luke didn't.

Heather couldn't figure it out.

Eventually, they tell her:

FLIP FLOPS!


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Luke asked Mike last night:

"Can I have a Dr. Pepper?"

Mike tells him no, so he asks:

"Can I have a Diet Coke?"

Mike again tells him no, so he asks:

"How about a Diet Water?"

Mike says "SURE!"

So Luke helps himself to a bottled water and insists it is DIET the entire time he is drinking it, saying "Look!  It's Diet!" << MORE >>

Teo was asking me what B.C. and A.D. meant, so several hours later out of the blue, he states:

"I think when Jesus comes again, it will be called J.C." << MORE >>

Teo can't seem to pronounce "Splash in the 'Boro" correctly because of the massive BARREL that pours water over the kids at the water park every 3 minutes.

Statesboro Herald Vodcast

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Luke:  "OH, that's right!  I can't have sugar because I'm having a BRAIN TEST!"

Setting:  Luke and I in the checkout at the Pooler Wal Mart at 5am where he asks me for candy (as usual).

Reason:  I had to keep him up all night in order for him to arrive sleep-deprived for his EEG this morning at 9:30am.  He had seizures as a baby, and he was eventually put on Lamictal to keep him from having more.  He hasn't had any since he was 3, so it was time to do another EEG to check.  (By the way, his EEG was normal - as it was when he was 3 - so we will be going off the medicine slowly over a month's time.)

Witnesses:  Few, but enough for me to feel at least 4 pairs of eyes staring holes through my back.

My Gut Reaction:  Pretend I don't know the child and RUN.

My Actual Reaction:  Explain at length Luke's medical history to anyone who would listen, including my cashier, the two people in line behind me (clearly in a hurry to buy cigarettes - how was I to know that was the cigarette-only line?  I don't smoke!!), and the two other cashiers in the vicinity who just prior had been having a really intellectual conversation about Tila Tequila.)

Total Value of Experience:  PRICELESS!




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Luke makes an astute observation:

"Mommy?  Good thing the door is open, my inchworm can hear this pretty music!"


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Luke, in one of his many random comments:

"Mommy?  Am I smarter than a fifth grader?"



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I just love this picture of us.  Do we favor or do we favor?
LINK:  View Large Image


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Apparently Teo has learned how to make a Power Point at school this year, unbeknownst to Mike and me, and one day he marched in the house after coming home from school all determined to make a Power Point presentation to prove it to us.

All of us went our separate ways, doing our own thing, and next thing we know, Teo announces he has finished his Power Point.

It's all about Robert, David, and Ben, friends of the boys who are brothers who live in our neighborhood.  The absolute best part is the very last page where Teo provides his "Resources" page.  Take a look for yourself!

All About Robert, David, and Ben (to view actual PPT)

Here are screenshots:















Don't you just love it?  He even created an imaginary website! BWHAHAHAHAHA!
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Teo:  "Mommy?  When you write '08, how do you know it's 2008 and not 3008?"

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While talking nonstop about his latest catch, an inchworm, Luke states:

"It spitted on me!"

Heather B. replies:  "The worm spat on you?" - knowing better than to correct him, but instead to model the right way to say it, and Luke shouts back at her:

"SPITTED!!  You know, like SPIT??!"

Hahaha!

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Tonight Teo and I got front row seats in the boys' bedroom as Mike and Luke gave us quite an astounding performance of Schoolhouse Rock's Conjunction Junction, dancing and all.

I'm sure your imagination cannot possibly approach the reality.  But do try!

"What's your function?" (click for original video!)<< MORE >>

So, two days post-surgery I said to the boys "Tonight, you must have a bath!! YOU STINK!"  And as they began to complain, telling me that they hadn't had to bathe the last couple of days, I retorted:  "WELL, that was when MOMMY wasn't in charge! NOW Mommy's BACK IN CHARGE!"

Teo shook his head from side to side and commented:

Those were the days.  Good times, good times . . .

I KID YOU NOT!!!!!!!!!!

I think my kids will grow up to be sitcom writers.  Don't you?<< MORE >>

Ok, so the short story is all is well and I'm feeling ok.

The curious story is that the only thing I really know about the surgery is that the doctor told my husband he had to remove my appendix because "IT WAS IN THE WAY!"  SERIOUSLY??????

The even MORE curiouser (yes, Virginia, that is a word . . . ) story is that Jack, the main character on LOST (come on, admit you know who I'm talking about - former Party-of-Fiver . . . ) ALSO had an appendectomy today!

This brings me to sheer paranoia, just so you know.  I MUST BE STRANDED ON A DESERTED ISLAND!!!!

Naw, hehehe - seriously though, he really did tell my husband that he had to remove my appendix because it was in the way of my ovary.  I can't wait for my follow-up appointment next week so I can find out the scoop on that one!  He drained my cyst, took lots of pictures of my insides, and passed them all over the waiting room before I even came to in the recovery room.  Methinks my doc and I need to have a little talk . . .    The nurse said to me afterwards that not having an appendix is good in case I ever have future pain in that area - then we'll know for sure it's not the appendix.  Okaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay??

The good news is that the anesthesia did NOT make me vomit (like it did for both my c-sections and my sinus surgery), so huge kudos to Dr. B.! I'm impressed!  Not only that, but I had some wonton soup and a milkshake for dinner, and no problems!  I'm even looking forward to a lasagna tomorrow! (Granted, it is my favorite . . . ).

The rest of the good news is that although I'm sore and slow-moving, my back pain that I've been having is COMPLETELY GONE!  I pray this solves my pain!  I'm ready to be back to being me!

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If you want an email in your inbox when I update this blog, simply type in your email in the SUBSCRIBE window in the lefthand margin.

I promise our boys will keep you entertained!

I just revamped a lot of my posts from over the years so that they would each show up as individual posts. Scroll on down to the bottom to relive some of our funniest moments with these crazy McGrath boys. << MORE >>

Bringing back to life an oldie but goodie:

Luke is only going PEE on the potty. He has NEVER gone poop on it. He just hasn't reached that point. He KNOWS what we want him to do, and he talks about it ALL the time.

And yet NOTHING! However, we haven't pushed the issue much - just talk for now.

So, today, we played outside all morning, then we came in and I threw them in the tub to get them cleaned off. Afterwards, Mateo dressed himself, but Luke stayed naked, and he never noticed, so I let him, knowing it was poopy time.

He ran around for at least an hour before it dawned on him, and he came to me and farted, and I said "LUKE - do you need to go poop?" and he RAN AS FAST AS HE COULD AWAY! So, I waited, and he came back - and he started begging me "Mommy! I wanna be dressed. I want my clothes on." Translated "Please put my diaper on - I need to POOP!"

So, I told him NO WAY - he needed to poop in the potty first, then I would dress him. And he threw his usual fit, and ran away. And he begged several more times until he finally came to me and said: "mommy? I'm ready to go potty now!"

All this time I have been in the bathroom getting ready for classes – blow-drying, dressing, etc. So, I was all excited, and I went with him and sat down with him and sang him a song and was all happy and watching between his legs and I noticed there was some messy on his hiney, and I thought "HE DID IT!" - but I didn't see anything, so I asked him and he said "YES, I DID IT!"

I said "Where is it?" and he said "It went way down!"  And I couldn't see it, and I know I would have - so I was temporarily puzzled. So I asked him to stand up and turn around so I could check, and when I saw it, I *knew*- and I said "Luke - did you go poop somewhere?" and he said "Yes, mommy." and I said "where?" and he said "On the living room carpet."

ACK!

So - I get up and get him to show me where and he points to a completely clean place where Gracie is standing there GRINNING from ear to ear.

That's my LukePoopStory. << MORE >>

Yesterday when Mike was picking the boys up from school, Luke was having a hard time juggling his backpack, his violin, and his Mr. Pibb that he had just purchased from the coke machine. Since his hands were full, he dropped his Mr. Pibb on the way to the car. It burst open and began to spray, so Mike told him to take it to the trash can. On his way to the trash can, he was sucking as much out of the hole as he could before he threw it away. He was really upset and asked Mike to buy him another Dr Pepper, and Mike told him no, that we have some at home, and "besides," he added, "you didn't have a Dr. Pepper, you had a Mr. Pibb!"  Luke with fury in his eyes turned to Mike and yelled "IT WAS A DR. PEPPER!" Mike said "DEFINITELY NOT!" since he had such a bad attitude.

Fast forward to today when Luke bought himself another Mr. Pibb, and once they were in the car, Mike pointed out to Luke that he had a Mr. Pibb and not a Dr. Pepper. Of course Luke kept insisting that he had a Dr. Pepper. Mike spelled out the word P-E-P-P-E-R and asked Luke to check the can to see if it matched what he spelled. Mike said "P" and Luke said "yes" and he checked each letter as he said it. Then Mike said, "Ok, now read it back to me, so we can be sure."  And Luke said "P, E" and then asked innocently "how'd you spell that again, Daddy?" as he pretended to read "Pepper" from a can that said "Pibb."

Once Mike stopped laughing, he explained that Mr. Pibb could NEVER be as good as Dr. Pepper because at least Mr. Pepper went to school to become a doctor!  Mr. Pibb never did that!


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 Mateo, after receiving his very first Holy Communion today: << MORE >>

While Grammy was here earlier this week, she asked Mateo if he was the smartest in his class. He thought about it, shook his head and said "I don't know!"

Luke heard all this and chimed in quite loudly "I AM!!!"

After Grammy asked him how he knew, he said "BECAUSE MY TEACHER TOLD ME SO!!!"
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So at piano lessons this week, Luke politely excused himself to go to the restroom while we all sat and waited. Once he gets in and shuts the door, he begins belting out the following lyrics at the top of his lungs:

Dontcha wish your girlfriend was HOT like ME?
Dontcha wish your girlfriend was a FREAK like ME?

I nearly DIED laughing!!!

I immediately assumed he had picked it up at school, but when I asked him later where he knew those lyrics from, he said "Alvin and the Chipmunks, of course, Mommy!"

Alvin sings Dontcha << MORE >>

While walking on the dirt road nearby, the boys got so disgustingly dirty one day that I said "wow, we're going to have to hose you off!"  Luke retorted quite quickly, "But MOMMY!  I'm not dirty on the inside!!!!" and then lifted his pant leg to show me his clean skin on the "inside."

Hehehehehe! << MORE >>

Luke:  I wish I were a dog so I wouldn't have to wipe! << MORE >>

Luke has been fascinated with the idea of cousins lately, and so the other day he had one of those stream of consciousness going that went like this:

Luke:  Mommy?  Can cousins have cousins?
Me:  Yes, of course!
Luke:  Can cousins have babies?
Me:  Well, yes. My cousin Heather has 3 children. They are my 2nd cousins.
Luke: (after thinking for a while) Mommy?  When I get older is it ok if I make babies?
Me: (stiffling a giggle) Yes, honey, I'd love for you to make babies.
Luke:  Great!  When I get older, I'm going to make you a bunch of babies so you can have cousins!
Me:  But I already HAVE cousins, Luke!
Luke:  But you don't have any brothers or sisters, mommy!!!!! << MORE >>

Today Luke comes BARGING into our bedroom at the crack of dawn shouting "I'm SIX! I'm SIX!"

I'm so groggy I think he's shouting "I'm SICK! I'm SICK!" so I rush and grab him a trash can for him to vomit in.

  You should have seen the look he gave me! Hahahaha!

(I'm posting this in late June and dating it back to Luke's birthday because I forgot all about this until Teo came running in shouting "I'm EIGHT! I'm EIGHT!" the other day.  Of course I thought he was saying "I ATE! I ATE!" Perhaps I need to get my ears checked.  You think?<< MORE >>

While cleaning out the fish tank earlier today, Luke asked me, "How do you create water, Mommy?" I thought for a second and realized that he was remembering the Genesis creation story we had read the night before, so I said "Do you mean how does God create water?"  He said, "Yeah, mommy, when he created the water, how did he do it?"  I said "Well, honey, I imagine only God knows the answer to that question."  And he said "That's gonna be the FIRST thing I ask him when I get to Heaven - I'm gonna say "Hey God - how did you create water that one day?"

Hehehe - let me know what he says! << MORE >>

Got your attention, huh?  Yeah, so Luke has started reading - and let me tell you, he can READ!  It just boggles my mind how it seems to happen over night. It's so much fun to sit and read with him every night. The other night he was trying to read the title to one of Harry Potter's books, The Order of the Phoenix. Since he hasn't learned the "ph" sound yet, nor has he even begun to work on anything as crazy like "phoenix," he just sounded it out and said "Order of the Penis!"

BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! << MORE >>

While eating at Bob Evans in Orlando last week, Mike buttered Mateo's biscuit.  Mike was eating Chicken Parmesan while the rest of us were having breakfast (it was dinnertime, after all).  Apparently Mike's knife still had marinara sauce on it from his meal, and when Teo saw his biscuit with little red spots in the butter, he got all upset (and I mean upset), and said "GAME OVER."

Mike and I nearly crawled under the table to keep from laughing too hard!  Poor Teo, too, because it's a legitimate complaint, and he was DEVASTATED!  It was a Bob Evan's biscuit after all!<< MORE >>

Here's a good Teoism for you!

While in Orlando last week when we went to MGM Studios (no, Candi, they didn't invite me to ride the bee in Honey, I Shrunk the Kids like the last time), Mike said "Look, Waffle House" to which Teo replied quite knowingly:  "Come on daddy, that's so OLD SCHOOL!"  Mike said "Am I old school?" and Teo replied "You're old school, but mommy's new school!"

GO ME!!!  I'm sure it's because I can beat Mike at Guitar Hero any day. Bring it on!

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Well, Teo has officially gone without his night night every night this week. We are on night number 4. Not one complaint. Not one tear. Just off to bed without it. Sniff . . . sigh . . .


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A bit late, but I had to add this pic of my babies on their first day of school this year.  Yes, I know it was months ago, but at least it's still 2007!  Notice Miss Gracie in the background, all sad she can't go . . .



I know, I know, I need to update with some new pics.  Will do!
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Luke:  Mommy, when I grow up, I'm going to move out of this house and live in another house.
Me:  What about me?  I'll miss you!
Luke: Wanna come live with me, Mimi? (he calls me every term of endearment he can dream up. I had to stop him at Memaw, though . . . )

Me:  Can I sleep in your bed with you like you do with me and daddy sometimes?

Luke:  Of course you can!  But, it will have to be a big bed for me, my wife, and you, mommy. But we can do that!!




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Mateo got hurt today - a clock fell on his head and caused a bump and cut him on the scalp - he bled and bled. Negligence on our part. First night class I teach, and this happens. We have a National Geographic clock that makes a different animal sound on every hour it's so cool - freaky, but cool. We had it on top of the computer cabinet - one of those that's all together and opens up - we just hadn't put it on a wall yet. And stupid us, it slid right off. And believe me, he scolded us both. He talked to me on the phone before I got home - "Mommy, you should have known not to put it up there, now I'm all hurt" About an hour afterwards Luke came up to Mike and said "Daddy, be sure you tell Teo's friends at school not to bother him because of his sore head, ok?" and Mike was all impressed with his sympathy for his brother and told Luke "Thank you for being so thoughtful." Then, a while later he came up to Mike and said "Thank you for saying thank you when I thought a lot about Teo." << MORE >>

In class on Tuesday, election day, when children were answering the teacher's question "what is voting?" Luke said "It's when you select something."  OUR BRILLIANT SON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! << MORE >>

Me:  "Luke, close your eyes now and go to sleep."
Luke: "I can't close my eyes because I can't talk."

Is that supposed to make sense? << MORE >>

Go check out the new pictures at www.losmcgrath.com - they are all from Spring 2006!<< MORE >>

Luke: "Daddy? What's in my brain?" - in the car on the way to school today.Daddy: "thoughts, ideas, cells . . . "Luke: "Mommy? Can I take this cup with us the next time we go to a far away place?"Mommy: "yes, honey, of course."Luke: "Like Puerto Rico? or Texas?"Mommy: "sure!"Luke: "What *IS* Texas anyway?!"Luke: "Daddy, tonight you have to take me to my school for reading night. But I don't want you to go. You can just drop me off."Luke: "Daddy. I know what a wedgie ...<< MORE >>

So, in Luke's pre-K classroom there is a large chart with children's answers to the question "What did you do on Halloween?" Little Billy wore a batman costume, Savannah got a lot of candy, Johnny went trick or treating, etc. What did our Luke say? "Luke went trick-or-treating. And his brother left him."BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!Now for the REAL story - they fought at EVERY single house who would get to ring the doorbell first. Picture this in my little Stepford Wives neighborhood where I do NOT fit in. Imagine all of these perfectly behaved little children ...<< MORE >>

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The other night Teo and I were cuddling, and he said he had some questions about God. We talked in depth about God's plan for our lives, how he knows us inside our hearts better than we know ourselves, etc. He thought for a minute and said:"I know that's right. God knows more than the computer!"I grinned and supressed laughter and nodded.Then he said: "And he doesn't have to be recharged!"Awwwwwwwwwww!!! ...<< MORE >>

Luke:  "Mommy?  Can I take this cup with us the next time we go to a far away place?"
Mommy:  "yes, honey, of course."
Luke:  "Like Puerto Rico? or Texas?"
Mommy: "sure!"
Luke:  "What *IS* Texas anyway?!"


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How lucky am I to spend my time working with newly birthed adults?! I enjoy every aspect of their perspective of life in general, no matter how immature or uninformed. They constantly amaze and amuse me, and I find that reaching out to them enriches my life tremendously. I have been teaching college-level students for 13 years now, and, as I age, the gap somehow doesn't seem to get any larger! I'm not so sure I should be excited about that, but the fact remains that students have a huge impact on me. It almost ...<< MORE >>

We found out yesterday that he was selected as student of the month!  Go Teo! << MORE >>

So, after suffering from migraines and a total lack of sleep for the last month and a half, I have been diagnosed for the second time within 6 weeks with STREP THROAT!  Just in case that wasn't enough, I have a sinus infection to boot. << MORE >>

The other day I misunderstood him when he was trying to tell me he couldn't do something. He corrected me and said "CAN'T!!!!! With a B!!!!!!!!!!!"  So adorable!

More to come. << MORE >>

Luke:  "Daddy, tonight you have to take me to my school for reading night. But I don't want you to go. You can just drop me off."

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Luke:  "Daddy. I know what a wedgie is. That's when you pull your underwear. Can I be a wedgie?"

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Matthew is convinced that I cannot speak Spanish. At least he is certain that Daddy speaks it far better than I do. Of course this has nothing to do with the fact that Mike TELLS HIM THUS daily!!!    
When I try to defend myself, it comes across as if what daddy is saying were true and Matthew just laughs and laughs. Sigh. One day he'll see.
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In the airport in Miami, Luke approached a woman on crutches who had one leg and a stump before I could get to him and he said to her "I sure hope your foot grows back soon!"  Thankfully, the lady laughed and said "I don't think so sweetie!" while I apologized profusely. Months later, he is still asking me about that lady's leg. He doesn't understand that your foot isn't like a fingernail!  We're not starfish!

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After being laid down for a nap:

"Mommy? Could you turn on some music for me?"

"Oh, Laurie Berkner! I love Laurie Berkner! I'm already asleep!"

"Mommy? You know why I'm not singing? Because I might wake myself up."
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Another time while hugging him goodnight in his bed he said matter of factly:  "KEEP YOU!"  I still cherish that. << MORE >>

We went to see the Atlanta Braves on the holiday weekend and our seats were in the nosebleed section. I asked Mike if we couldn't just go all the way to the top so we could really enjoy the view, but not long after we got settled up there, Luke had to go potty. Mike took him the bazillion steps down to go, and when he came back he told me that as soon as they entered the massively packed men's restroom, Luke looked up at him and shouted loudly "DADDY!?? WILL YOU WIPE ME?!!!!!!!!!!!"
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While giving me a goodnight hug tonight, he said "Can we stay like this forever?"

I am STILL melting from that one.

I held him longer, and then I asked him "What if I have to go to the bathroom?"

He replied "Well, I just go with you!  We can stay hugging forever that way!!"

Such a lover!!!!!!!!
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At the beach:

My Luke is gonna be a comedian. No doubt. The other day at the beach the tide was quite rough and it was a bit hard to stay standing, even ankle deep. We were having lots of fun feeling the shells and sand being pulled over our feet and legs (with the rest of the state of Georgia) and Luke shouts "OUCH! MY PENIS!"

It was as if time stood still.

A wave had just smacked him a bit too hard right *there* and he was letting us know. I dunno how I maintained composure!  So funny!!!!!!!!

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Mateo: "Mommy? When you were a little girl, did you have birthdays?"

Me: "Of course, honey!"

Mateo: "WOW! You must have had a LOT of birthdays to grow up as big as you are!"

BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
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In the pool:

"Mommy? Thank you for teaching me to walk on the bottom of the pool."

You're welcome, honey.

"You're the best teacher of me, EVER! Can we go to the baseball store and buy you a trophy?"

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Luke is crying his eyes out over the death of his pet millipede. It's millipede number 453 (give or take a few) that he has captured and watched die. He's not dead, actually, but he rolled up into a little circle, and I can't convince Luke otherwise. Anyway, poor wittle Luke. I think we might actually be a natural habitat for the whole known world's population of millipedes.

We've had every science project I can DREAM UP about these damn little buggers. Good thing I am not the squeamish type. I will touch just about anything. We got to even talk about their smell - pretty convenient since now the boys' current catch phrase is "Fire in the hole!" (Wanda the skunk on Over the Hedge before she lets loose a stink.)

Anyway, Learning Pages has a great lesson on them (that's where I learned for sure that what we had was an entire herd of millipedes). We've set free, we've fed, we've sat and watched with big magnifying glasses, we've named and pondered their futures, etc. Luke was convinced if we watched long enough they would turn into Butterflies. When I finally got him to believe me, he was certain that they must turn into dragonflies instead.

We even have all the bug catching gear and the floppy hat!

We have set free many, and it just doesn't matter - he wants to love and squeeze and cuddle and smoosh them all!

We were in the pet store buying fish one day and he told the lady there with all seriousness: "I talk to birds" and nodded his head very matter-of-factly. I then had to explain that Luke is the "animal whisperer" - he can approach any animal - it's amazing! He is such a LOVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Whenever Luke obsesses about something, and I know you know what I mean, all I have to do is say:

"Look Luke, a SPIDER!" (or some type of bug),

and he totally forgets that his batman costume is in the washing machine or that he can't find his favorite rock or that Gracie chewed up his plastic lizard, etc.

So earlier today he was obsessing about a toy that he couldn't reach under the sofa, so I said the "Look Luke" thingy and it worked. Matthew has it all figured out, so he started to giggle and say "She's kidding!" while I tried to shush him up. I could tell he was thinking really hard and then he said all of a sudden:

"Look Luke, a COW!"

Oh I nearly died! Of course Luke looked, and I had to explain to Matthew that he needed to start much SMALLER than a cow.
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Mateo asked if he could see God, and Mike replied that God is everywhere, but especially inside of us. And our Luke responds:

"Is God in my POOP????"

Sigh.

So.Very.Proud.Am.I. << MORE >>

So, we were praying with them before they left for school today, asking God to watch over them when Luke chimes in:

"God, I want to play with the bulldozer today!"

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Apparently there's a toy bulldozer at his daycare that the kids fight over all the time.) << MORE >>

Luke:  "Mommy? I want you to marry me." (after we kiss)
Me: "Why?"
Luke: "Because I really wish."
Me: "Why?"
Luke: "Because you're so pretty." (he walks to a wedding photo) "You look like Mary." (big pause) "In the Little Mermaid."
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Tonight, while cuddling in bed - Luke very CAREFULLY turned towards me and placed his nose RIGHT SMACK DAB ON MY NIPPLE - now remember, these nipples haven't fed since March 2003! I was a bit shocked, but I giggled and said "What are you doing, Luke?" He grinned and said "I just need to smell you mommy. You smell really good." MELT!

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Luke likes to express every thought that comes to his mind, and he and Teo have been talking about BIG numbers a lot lately, so he says to me: "I like hundred everything. I like hundred one. I like hundred two. I like hundred three. I like hundred four." until he got up to 25! Meanwhile, I'm simply responding with the typical "Wow, really? Ok! I see! No way! That's neat! Cool!" until I run out of responses for all the many numbers he likes with 100. Ahem.
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In WM, when he realized he could have the new shoes he wanted, he said very loud and clear: "Ok, Mommy, now I won't hate you!" - in the most adorable voice ever. I think I was the only one who witnessed it, but I was so hoping to turn around and grin at any passersby. Ahem.

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Luke has finally reached his full dose of seizure medication, and he made the following comments to me today:

"I'm everybody's friend."
"I like everybody."
"I'm not mad anymore!"
"I'm gonna stay unmad forEVER!"

Awwwwwwwwwwwww!! << MORE >>

So, on Santa's lap, Luke tells him he wants:

1) Batman boots
2) a Violin

Santa gives me a weird look, and I say "Santa, do your elves know how to make batman boots and violins?" Santa gave me a knowing look and said "You know what Santa's elves are busy making a lot of this year?" Luke looks at him all excited and asks him "WHAT?!" Santa replies: "Baseballs, baseball bats, baseball gloves . . . " Luke frowns and begins to think about it and finally says "No, that's ok. I'll just take a violin. Thank you."
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So, Luke got into his head that he wanted some stupid something at WM (Darth Vader voice changer), and he asks me about 3 bazillion times to take him there, and I finally say to him "you cannot ask me again because I have heard it ENOUGH. If you ask me again, I will never take you there, ever, for the rest of your life."

So he sits and pouts for a while - we're traveling in the van on the way to Grandma's house - and he has been thinking for a while and he finally says  "Mommy?" and I say "You better not ask me about going to WM to get that Darth Vader toy"

And he stutters and replies carefully "No, I wanted to tell you to not go home yet."  So I agree and say "ok, Luke - I won't go home yet."

As we get closer to Grandma's house, he realizes we're not going to WM, and he says

"Wait! Don't stop! Keep going!"

I reply, feigning innocence: "Why, Luke?"

And he replies hesitantly:

"Because I don't want to go anywhere here."

He was trying so hard to not mention the Darth Vader mask at WM. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
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Luke is constantly chewing his toenails, so his poor toes are sore all the time cuz of the ragged toenails. So recently he came to me to complain, saying:

My foot hurts!

Me:  Why?

Cuz I eat too much!

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Luke and Mateo both got little electric keychain organizers (why? dunno . . . )and they play with them like they're their cell phones, palm pilot, whatever and the other day in the car Luke picks his up and holds it to his ear and says:

"Mrs. Baxley? (Teo's Kindergarten teacher) Yes, this is Luke McGRAFFT, I am Teo's brother, Teo McGRAFFT. Teo did a bad thingy today. He walk across withoutlooking for cars."

Big Pause

"You mad?"

Big Pause

"Ok. Bye Mrs. Baxley."

Then he turns to Teo and says:

"She said she mad and she gonna spank you and put you in time out."

Meanwhile Teo is buying the whole freaking thing and he's playing drama king screaming:
 
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!"

at every little thing Luke tells Mrs. Baxley.

Mike and I had such a laugh, enjoying every minute of it! So we asked him - "What's Mrs. Baxley's phone #?" and he said:

"2"

We said "just 2?"

And he said:
 
"No, it's 2 - 2"

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Luke:  "I very need logic RIGHT NOW!"
Me:   "why, Luke?"
Luke: "Cuz I wanna watch that show and it's not on and I need LOGIC right now."

(Apparently I had told him one too many times to use his LOGIC when he would demand the impossible . . .)
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Luke is only going PEE on the potty. He has NEVER gone poop on it. He just hasn't reached that point. He KNOWS what we want him to do, and he talks about it ALL the time.

And yet NOTHING! However, we haven't pushed the issue much - just talk for now.

So, today, we played outside all morning, then we came in and I threw them in the tub to get them cleaned off.

Afterwards, Mateo dressed himself, but Luke stayed naked, and he never noticed, so I let him, knowing it was poopy time.

He ran around for at least an hour before it dawned on him, and he came to me and farted, and I said "LUKE - do you need to go poop?" and he RAN AS FAST AS HE COULD AWAY! So, I waited, and he came back - and he started begging me "Mommy! I wanna be dressed. I want my clothes on." Translated "Please put my diaper on - I need to POOP!"

So, I told him NO WAY - he needed to poop in the potty first, then I would dress him. And he threw his usual fit, and ran away. And he begged several more times until he finally came to me and said: "mommy? I'm ready to go potty now!"

All this time I have been in the bathroom getting ready for classes – blow-drying, dressing, etc. So, I was all excited, and I went with him and sat down with him and sang him a song and was all happy and watching between his legs and I noticed there was some messy on his hiney, and I thought "HE DID IT!" - but I didn't see anything, so I asked him and he said "YES, I DID IT!"

I said "Where is it?" and he said "It went way down!"
And I couldn't see it, and I know I would have - so I was temporarily puzzled. So I asked him to stand up and turn around so I could check, and when I saw it, I *knew*- and I said "Luke - did you go poop somewhere?" and he said "Yes, mommy." and I said "where?" and he said "On the living room carpet."

ACK!

So - I get up and get him to show me where and he points to a completely clean place where Gracie is standing there GRINNING from ear to ear.

That's my LukePoopStory. << MORE >>

Luke is concerned about my lack of a penis.
 "Mommy? Why you have pee pee come out your hiney?"
"Honey, there is no pee pee coming out my hiney."
"But you have no penis and you sitting down!"
"That's right, but mommy's pee pee comes from another place, not her hiney."
ACK!!!!!! << MORE >>

Mateo has been sitting there thinking for quite some time, so I knew something good was about to happen.

He begins:
"Mommy?"

yes honey?

"When I grow big, I'm going to have a baby."

you are?!

"And that baby's going to grow big, and I'm going to have another baby. Then I'll have another baby, and all those babies will grow big and then where will we fit all those people in our house, mommy??"

After trying really hard not to laugh, I said to him "Who's going to be your babys' mommy?" and he said all-knowingly:

"Luke can't be their mommy because he's a BOY and mommies are GIRLS. I don't know who's going to be their mommy!"

So sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet!  
<< MORE >>